Welcome and FAQs
Welcome To Alternative Baby! Please take some time to look around, read some articles, browse our links section, and then (and if you do nothing else you MUST do this!) check out our forums, which are full of very welcoming, friendly, and wise women 
I've decided to address some common questions asked by newcomers to the site..
What IS "Alternative Baby" All about?
AB was created back in 2002 as a place where parents practicing Attachment Parenting, gentle parenting, natural parenting, and other similar philosophies, could come and chat in a supportive, safe and non judgmental environment. Since that time we have seen the growth of a small, but rapidly growing community of families, from all walks of life, many different socio economic and cultural backgrounds; all sharing one thing in common-the desire to provide a positive and nurturing environment for their children.
What's with the name?
The "Alternative" in our name alluded to the fact that when we first set up, there were no other Australian forums catering to discussion of attachment parenting principles. So we were the "alternative" It is also a reference to the fact that many of our members practices some parenting techniques which were outside of the mainstream 5 years ago-since then AP has become a lot more widely accepted, though to some, it is still a very "alternative" practice. It does of course also seek to include discussions of a more "alternative" parenting nature, as well as more AP and general parenting related topics.
What is "Attachment Parenting" ?
Attachment Parenting, as defined by Wikipedia is "phrase coined by pediatrician William Sears,[1] is a parenting philosophy based on the principles of the attachment theory in developmental psychology. According to attachment theory, a strong emotional bond with parents during childhood, also known as a secure attachment, is a precursor of secure, empathic relationships in adulthood.
Attachment parenting as advocated by Sears should not be confused with the parenting techniques also sometimes referred to as attachment parenting, used as an adjunct to attachment therapy. [2]"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_parenting
There are 8 main "Principles" of Attachment Parents,as coined by Dr Sears, which are :
Preparation for Pregnancy, Birth and Parenting
- Feed with Love and Respect
- Respond with Sensitivity
- Use Nurturing Touch
- Engage in Nighttime Parenting
- Provide Consistent Loving Care
- Practice Positive Discipline
- Strive for Balance in Personal and Family Life
So,what is "Attachment Theory?"
Again according to Wikipedia, this theory, "originally proposed by John Bowlby, states that the infant has a tendency to seek closeness to another person and feel secure when that person is present. In comparison, Sigmund Freud proposed that attachment was a consequence of the need to satisfy various drives. In attachment theory, attachment is considered a biological system and children are naturally attached to their parents because they are social beings, not just because they need other people to satisfy drives. Attachment is part of normal child development."
That's all very nice and textbook like-but what does it involves in practice?
There are varying ways and levels to which individuals and families may practice AP-for some, it means co sleeping until the child is happy to leave the family bed, extended breastfeeding with child led weaning, constant baby wearing and minimal to no use of childcare-for others it may mean gentle sleep routines, positive approaches to discipline, and selective use of good quality, nurturing childcare. There are NO RULES-just a set of guidelines. AP is about a mindset, rather than dogma.
Very simply, AP is about emotional responsiveness, and respect for children's needs.
What AP is NOT..
AP is NOT a set of inflexible rules, it is NOT about martyring one's self to one's child/ren, it is NOT about being over protective and denying them their independence, it is NOT about allowing your kids to run wild, nor is it about giving into their very whim and raising spoilt brats or "smug dictators"! Some common myths about AP include:
Mothers "aren't allowed" to go to work"-wrong. When or Whether to go back to work is a common dilemma faced by all families, and it's no different for AP's. In the case of a mother needing to work, the options are varied, and can certainly fit within the guidelines of AP, such as dad staying home instead, the child being cared for by a family member or friend, or making use of a carefully selected and nurturing day care provider.
AP parents are overly permissive-wrong. AP is about emotional responsiveness, not over permissiveness. While AP doesn't fit with punitive disciplinary techniques, it certainly doesn't advocate letting kids run wild, or not setting any boundaries whatsoever.
AP is about matyring yourself to your child-wrong wrong wrong!! Many people think (Both AP and Non AP types by the way ) that because AP's sometimes practice baby led weaning, or co sleeping that the parent MUST do anything the child wants in order to keep the child happy, in order to get some sort of AP medal. This line of thinking is ridiculous. Yes it's important to be responsive and nurturing-but not at the expense of your own comfort. ie if you REALLY dislike Co-sleeping, or breastfeeding THAT much, then you should find another way-because besides making yourself miserable, your negative feelings will project onto your child-no good for anyone
Another thing AP is NOT..
A common misconception is that AP involves such practices as home schooling, alternative schooling (Steiner, Montessori etc) home birth, freebirth, cloth nappying, elimination communication, eating only organic food etc..while these practices are complimentary to AP, they are certainly not a *part* of AP as such, and many AP parents do do any of these; just as many non AP parents do practice these things.
So who is welcome on AB? Do I have to be some full on hippy, greenie, feral living a life of complete self sufficiency and non consumption to join?
NO!! (but of course you're just as welcome if you do fit the above description too!) In fact we have very few members who'd fit that stereotype. AB members tend to be a diverse lot, who fall across a wide spectrum, from very mainstream people who practice some AP techniques, through to full on hippies Most of us are somewhere in between. There's no rules and no exclusions-EVERYONE is welcome, whether you practice AP or not, whether you are alternative or mainstream-so long as you respect the site's ideals of treating children with respect and empathy.
OK I get it! So how do I join in?
Just click on the "register" link in then top left hand corner, create an account and you're on your way! Or you may simply like to browse the site first. Don't forget to check out our forums, which are the main focus of the site-however we also have blogs, articles, links, recipes and coming soon a live chat room and small business directory. Alternative Baby also has some great low cost advertising options for small business, so if you are interested in finding out more, please contact us
We hope you enjoy the site, and look forward to getting to know you!!
Alternative baby Admin
April 2008.